


Parallel Lines

by tawashi



Category: Tenet (2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fix-It, M/M, Neiltagonist, Post-Canon, protagoneil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:08:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27042502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tawashi/pseuds/tawashi
Summary: And, when the tapestry of destiny is complete, the Protagonist will come back to fulfil the promise he has made to himself. He will devote the rest of his life to unravelling the ugly knot in this grand artwork — to undo Neil’s death in Stalsk 12, on that fateful day.
Relationships: Neil & The Protagonist (Tenet), Neil/The Protagonist (Tenet)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 235





	Parallel Lines

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on ao3, any feedback is appreciated💓  
> Un-beta'd, if you find any errors please let me know. Thank you for reading!

  
  


_ 5. _

_ "What’s happened happened. Which is an expression of faith in the mechanics of the world, not an excuse to do nothing." _

The Protagonist goes back to that harsh, barren battlefield repeatedly. The cruel ten minutes play forwards and backwards, only to push him out in the end, seemingly impervious. A stray bullet, an enemy soldier, falling debris — the elements unite to prevent the events from veering off-course from  _ reality, _ hitting him with the realisation that he is going about this the wrong way.

And if he does not find a way, when all the other options are exhausted — well, then,  _ he _ will simply become the dead soldier down in the hypocentre. He will be on the Chinook that took Neil and Ives away, waiting. Take his backpack off him, by force if necessary, invert, go back down the tunnel. All he has to do is work out how to open that damned lock by himself.

The thought of this last resort is the only thing that makes it bearable to do what he must do now — to seek out Neil in the past, to recruit him, to entangle him in this grand, deadly scheme of his own making. No, he is not like Sator — sharing your life with someone, nurturing an intimate connection, all the while knowing you will be the instigator of their eventual deaths. That, he simply cannot abide.

He will now depart this battlefield, to carefully weave his future actions into the past. To firmly secure the threads that his allies have artistically woven into the canvas, colouring over the design for an Armageddon stitched in by unseen shadows in the future. And, when the tapestry of destiny is complete, the Protagonist will come back to fulfil the promise he has made to himself. He will devote the rest of his life to unravelling the ugly knot in this grand artwork — to undo Neil’s death in Stalsk 12, on that fateful day.

***

Deceptively intelligent and athletic. An ingenious mind, a skilled medic and an expert lockpick. Fiercely devoted to the cause, and, it seems, to  _ him. _ Neil, inconceivably perfect for his role, has been an ever-present companion and aid for the man, since he became a protagonist in this epic play of destruction and salvation.

He speculates about worlds where Neil is spared from involvement in the mission, but try as he may, he cannot think of a way in which they could ever succeed. Those parallel realities — if such things even do exist — would not have been as fortunate as the one they are in. They stand, victorious on the battlefield, atop the corpses of their parallel selves.

Their accomplishment owes itself to the fact that everything was/is/will be in its right place at the right time, including Neil. Meticulously synchronised, against miraculous odds. It would probably not have worked without a fair amount of luck, but in the end, the clockwork machinations of Tenet are what elevates this closed loop into one that successfully averts the Armageddon. 

But, if manipulation of time and events is what has enabled them to chip away at the colossal odds and eventually seize the victory from the future, then who can definitely say what is an impossibility, and what is not?

There must be a reality, in which they ensure the survival of the billions of people on Earth, and just  _ one more man. _

  
  


_ 4. _

Kiev, Ukraine. The man swaggers through the crowd like a panther, lithe and sleek, chin lifted in defiance to the world. The energy buzzing within him is barely contained in the meticulously tailored suit that clings to him like a second skin. 

_ The Protagonist. _ It has become a codename of sorts, and for some reason no one refers to him by his real name anymore. Perhaps it is a safeguard against their adversary, anonymity being his biggest weapon right at the beginning. Or perhaps it is because of their absurd fantasy of him, that he has transcended his old human self and become a mere  _ concept _ — a purpose-built machine, cold and precise.

He is, of course, still the same mass of flesh and blood that began this journey. It is not easy for him to reconcile the turmoil of emotions within himself to the dispassionate, austere figure they demand him to be, have come to expect him to be.

Finding the vehicle parked on the side street as arranged, he flips the key out of his pocket in one smooth motion, gets into the truck and drives off.

*** 

"Come on, over here!"

From the driver's seat of the truck, the Protagonist yells at the man in a black riot gear sprinting out of the opera house. Seconds later, there is a loud  _ boom _ behind him, raining debris all around. The man quickly gets into the passenger seat of the truck, removes his helmet and then does a double take when he sees who the driver is, eyes wide.

“What are  _ you _ doing here? I thought Mahir was coming to pull me out," says Neil, his breath hitching from the exertion a moment ago, and something else altogether.

"Plans change," says the Protagonist matter-of-factly to Neil, or a younger version of the one he knows.

Neil smiles — a smile that seems muted somehow, compared to the one he has grown used to receiving — then gives the other man a firm handshake. "Busy saving the world?"

The man grips his hand back. The handshake lasts a touch too long, almost lingering. " _ Was _ busy saving the world, yes."

Neil looks at him for a second, processing the comment, then lets out a loud whoop. He slaps the other man on the back  _ hard, _ making the man nearly lose control of the truck. "Did we  _ do _ it?  _ Really? _ Bloody fantastic!" He scrunches his eyes up and pumps his fists in the air in celebration.

“Well, strictly speaking, we are only halfway there.”

"It's really good to see you, by the way," says Neil after a while, having calmed down somewhat. "Haven't seen you for a while. Well, except, I did see you at the opera house just now and save your life." Neil seems, understandably, quite pleased with himself. "Last time I talked to you was when you helped me with that repair job," he says, and then pauses for a moment. "...Wait, that hasn't happened for you yet, has it? Oh, nevermind. What brings you here, anyway?"

"Well, the thing is... I want you to come with me on a trip," says the man, keeping his eyes on the road. "A long trip.  _ Inverted. _ "

Neil does not even ask when, where or how long. He just grins and says, "ready whenever you are," and then relaxes back into the car seat.

***

It will indeed be a long trip, three odd years in reverse entropy in fact. The advice he gets from his team in Trondheim is not to attempt it alone; a human mind can only withstand that kind of solitude and isolation for so long. He would have ignored that advice happily under different circumstances, but he cannot resist the chance to have his partner-in-crime back by his side — an excuse to spend time with Neil and really get to know him, this time around. He will also be using the "transit" time as an opportunity to work out the intricacies of setting up the foundation of the organisation, and he is counting on Neil's expertise for that.

As for the destination, Neil is the only one that knows exactly  _ where _ to go, and  _ when. _ The main purpose of the trip is to go back in time to recruit Neil, who assumes it is only one among many of their objectives, a lesser one at that. The Protagonist lets him think that for now, ignorance being their ammunition.

Once that goal is accomplished, the man plans to go back further into the past to set the wheels in motion for his organisation. That leg of the trip will be a solitary one; he refuses to burden anyone else with that particular concern.

***

"When I finished my degree," says Neil at briefing, "I was thinking, money's a bit of a problem right now, should I really go do my master's or just give up and go get a proper job? Turned out, I'd be doing both under your care. Best thing that happened to me, ever."

"What do you remember about our first meeting?" It turns out he remembers quite a lot. 

"I was sitting outside at this cafe I used to go to regularly after uni," recounts Neil, eyes distant and fond, while running his fingers through his messy mop of golden hair, mussing it up further. It makes the other man smile. "It was spring, and the trees had those beautiful purple flowers on them all over, and it was like the air itself was tinted in that colour.”

"At about 4pm, I ordered a cup of tea and scones. The waiter came back with my order, put it down on the table —  _ with a bottle of diet coke I didn't order, _ " Neil glances at the man with a conspiratorial grin. "I was about to call the waiter back, but then...I turned around and you were there, standing right in front of me." Like an apparition awash in the purple shade of the blooms, the scent of sweet vanilla strong in the air — 

"It was...  _ unreal. _ Seemed like a dream."

The Protagonist nods, not really understanding. "It's a lot of years to go backwards, can it really work?" he asks, still feeling a little unsure about the whole thing. 

Neil shrugs his shoulders. "Of course it'll work. It's happened already." 

  
  
  


  
_ 3. _

They are on board an icebreaker, currently situated just off the coast of Trondheim. The cold, saline wind whips at their windbreakers, and the bitter chill bites into their bones. 

They inspect the living space set up for the two of them, which looks more like a motel room than a shipping container inside (in fact, they are two shipping containers connected to one another). It is as luxurious as a tin can gets, with a plush sofa and equally comfortable looking beds, a mini kitchenette (stocked with inverted food), a bath (a most peculiar experience inverted, the Protagonist is told) and even a home theatre installed (the equipment having been inverted so that what they watch will make sense). It is also circulated with inverted air, so they can forgo the use of masks while inside the room.

_ They most definitely are  _ not _ on a budget, _ the man thinks, impressed.

He and Neil find out that some of the crew on board have dubbed this place the “Honeymoon Suite”, and the two of them share a laugh, albeit a little awkwardly. Not out of embarrassment for the insinuation, but because of the implication that perhaps those people know what they themselves do not, having already seen the two of them at the end of their reverse journey, three years in the past.

"Wait," the Protagonist calls out to Neil, who is inspecting the bed. "If we're inverting in a couple of days and moving in, doesn't that mean our future selves should be in here with us now?"

"Well, I guess we'll have to remember to go for a walk outside, while our forward selves are here for the inspection." 

The Protagonist's brows crease up in concentration, still getting used to thinking in non-linear terms. Neil smiles and pats him on the back. "You'll get used to it."

***

"So, what did we get up to after I recruited you?" asks the Protagonist, sitting on the edge of their small comfy leather sofa, on the first day of their journey.

"Well... you trained me for a bit, took me on a few missions. Inducted me into the organisation when I passed the "test". You were a busy man though, so most of the time I worked with others – Mahir, Ives, Wheeler. I'm thrilled you've chosen me for this mission, actually," Neil, sitting next to the other man, tries to sound nonchalant, but the enthusiasm bubbling beneath the surface betrays him.

"Okay, so you wouldn't really say that we were  _ friends? _ "

Neil seems a little taken aback by the question. "Uh, not really... more like a mentor I looked up to, I guess. Why?" he asks with a face that says yes, he would give anything to be considered a friend.

"Don’t worry about it, forget I said that," the Protagonist dismisses his own words with a flick of the hand. "it's just something someone said to me once."

What looks quite a lot like jealousy passes over Neil's face for a second, before disappearing completely. "What have you been up to with the  _ other _ me?" says Neil, changing the subject. "I mean, I know you probably can't go into details —"

"Oh, lots of crazy, saving-the-world kind of stuff," the Protagonist's laughter crackles in a warm rhythm. "Jumping off buildings, planning a heist, crashing various types of vehicles, dressing up as billionaires and going undercover, that kind of stuff."

His curiosity piqued, Neil asks, "did I pull it off? I mean, I don't know if I can look as good as you in suits".

The man lifts an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? You clean up real nice."

"Oh...really?" Neil, caught off guard by the complement, actually blushes a bit. "Suits never seem to stay on me properly for long, so..." he says, scratching his head, his voice tapering off.

The Protagonist laughs, "yeah, I know. I like the droopy, drinking-on-the-job look of yours too, you know. Kinda endearing."

Neil, his usual laid-back composure now totally rattled, starts to ramble. "Well, um, you're always dressed in those sharp, sleek suits, and you look beautiful...I mean, you look good in clothes, well I'm not saying you don't look good without clothes 'cos I'm sure you do, just that I haven't, you know, seen you without... sorry..." Neil, painfully aware that he is babbling, pretends to have a coughing fit, clearly wanting to dig a hole and crawl into it.

Star-struck Neil. Who would have thought. _ I'm going to have a bit of fun with this, _ the man thinks to himself, recalling the occasions where the older Neil played dumb and let him blunder about in an unfamiliar world where things go backwards and forwards like a yo-yo.  _ Revenge is sweet. _

This is the start of a beautiful friendship after all, or — judging by the way Neil looks at him when he doesn't know he's being watched — maybe something more than a friendship. Seeing the longing graffitied all over the blond man's face, the Protagonist can feel an answering pull tugging at him from within.

  
  
  
  


_ 2. _

So, in this enclosed space, travelling without moving, they train, they plan, and they talk. Not so much about the missions they have been/will be on together; ignorance is still their ammunition after all. But they do exchange their life stories — where they grew up and what they liked to do as a child, their favourite books and places. The man recounted the smell of the rain and the colour of the creek where he used to swim as a child; the heartbreak of losing his beloved, loyal dog; the first time he lost a colleague, and the silence that deafened him when he had to go and deliver the bad news to the family. Neil, in return, tells him of the high school mentor who instilled in him the love of quantum physics; his sickly childhood spent in bed, mostly reading; the parents that died when he was still young. 

They discuss quantum physics theories, some so strange and perplexing they border on the esoteric. They eat their inverted supply of food (Neil tries to improve the taste of some of the more bland offerings and fails miserably, killing a microwave in the process), and start making a dent into the massive reservoir of movies on the HDD (Neil gets the first pick, and he chooses _Back to the Future_ ; the other man appreciates the irony).

The man enjoys Neil's sense of humour and spontaneity, and Neil in turn really gets his dry wit that often goes right over people's heads. There is never a dull moment with Neil; in fact, he suspects that Neil is a walking embodiment of chaos, and the mayhem he leaves in his wake keeps the man on his toes. (Once, Neil floods the floor of the entire shipping container with bath water, and he still cannot work out how he managed to do it, reverse entropy and all.) The Protagonist finds it quite amusing, to be completely truthful, and he is grateful for the distraction, never having dealt with monotony well throughout his life.

And as they settle into their routine and start to feel comfortable around each other, Neil's body language changes as well. He seems less in awe, less  _ intimidated _ by the man, and that face he is used to seeing on Neil — the other Neil — comes back, that unguarded, frank, open face; something, the man realises, not everyone gets to see, and one he has desperately missed.

As the two of them start to become close, the Protagonist feels as though he is fulfilling a promise, the last wish of a dear friend. 

***

So long as they wear an oxygen mask, they can step outside of their airlocked space onto the deck of the icebreaker. They make use of the training room and the shooting gallery there, keeping themselves in shape. 

And sometimes, they just lean against the railing and observe the world around them — watching the crew go about their business in reverse, the birds fly backwards, and waves uncrash into the boat, in a surreal parody of life. They feel like they are the only sane beings left in this world gone mad.

And other times, they sit inside their compartment, isolated from the dizzying reverse commotions beyond the walls. Working, or reading, or doing whatever else, while quietly enjoying each other's presence. Sometimes they notice each other stealing glances off one another, filled with unnamed emotions.

It does not take long for those glances to evolve into caresses and kisses.

The first time they kiss, tentative and slow, it becomes apparent that neither has kissed the other before, though they could have easily guessed that. It has not happened yet in their complicated timelines, and in this tangled web of future/past selves, they are grateful for that small miracle — that this moment is  _ theirs _ alone.

They find everything they need in the bedside drawer, conveniently stocked up by God knows who. They make love, sometimes slow and gentle, sometimes hard and intense, trying to find each other's rhythm in their strange, inverted bodies.

"I've wanted this for a long time," confesses Neil one night, "wanted  _ you _ for a long time. You seemed... beyond my reach. And now you're right here," Neil looks at the man lying next to him, all clothes shed, one arm across Neil's torso and the head buried into his neck. "Life's strange."

"Strange and wonderful," the other man murmurs into his skin, sleepy and content.

***

Some days they spend naked on the bed, taking the time to explore and map each other's skin, and they allow themselves that, knowing full well their paths will eventually yank them apart.

"What did you think of me when you first met me? When I recruited you?" the man asks Neil, who is lazily tracing an old scar on his lover's toned torso with his tongue.

"Mmm, I don't know," mumbles Neil, fingers now drawing idle patterns on his lover's skin, rich sepia and sateen smooth. "Mysterious, charismatic, confident and devilishly handsome maybe?" he says with a twinkle in his eye.

"Do I have to be all  _ that _ to impress you?" the man exhales, feigning consternation.

"Nah, just be your usual, impeccable self, and I'll be yours forever," says Neil, laughing, and brings his face up to meet his lover's. They seal the deal with a long, slow kiss.

The man slides his hand on Neil's milky, freckled skin, mesmerised by the sharp contrast of colours. They are beautiful together, he thinks to himself with a sigh. He gathers their neglected cocks into his hand, both hard and weeping, and they grind against each other, kissing, panting into each other's mouths, until they feel one another shudder in orgasm, painting each other with their sticky fluid.

Afterwards, outside of their makeshift home, they stand with their arms around each other, awestruck by the magnificent flurry of the northern lights in the clear night sky above. The man wonders if this beautiful and mad dance of vibrant colours would make more sense when viewed forwards in time.

Next to him, Neil is beaming like a lighthouse, with a grin that crinkles up his whole face. "I've never seen this before. It's breathtaking."

"If I could choose the time and place to end the world... this moment comes pretty close," the man says in a hushed tone, barely above a whisper; it feels to him as though it might actually happen if the sky heard.

"That's a bit morbid isn't it?" Neil looks at him with slight bewilderment. He seems to appreciate the sentiment, nevertheless, and tightens the arm coiled around his lover.

  
  
  
  


_ 1. _

"Hey, can I pick your brain for a second?" The Protagonist calls out to Neil, who is tapping away at the keys of his laptop.

"Uh-huh." The tappity-tap sound of the keyboard stops after a short delay.

"So, you’ve told me  _ what's happened's happened, _ but what if you  _ do _ do something different?"

"Like I've said, no one really knows," says Neil, with a  _ here-we-go-again _ roll of the eyes. "Maybe your consciousness moves onto another parallel reality, where the change you make is the normal course of events. So in actuality, you are not making a change as much as travelling to a different reality. Besides, if the overall outcome is a good one, like, you know,  _ saving the world, _ why risk changing anything? You could open up a whole can of worms, and ruin everything you worked towards.

“Or, maybe, the more likely or  _ concrete _ an event is, the harder it is to actually change it at all, because the world will push back to heal any inconsistencies within itself." Neil pauses for a second, thinking. "Have you heard of Schrödinger's cat?"

“A cat in a box, could be alive, could be dead."

"That's right. So, to an observer, the cat in the box is simultaneously alive _and_ dead. But once you open the box, you know for sure the cat is _either_ _alive_ or _dead,_ making the state concrete.” Neil's hands start to flit this way and that, mirroring his mercurial thoughts.

"Maybe if something is yet to be observed, there are still different possibilities as to its true state and outcome, and that makes it easier to interfere with it. But really, who knows?" Neil concludes with a shrug of his shoulders, an end to the discussion. He goes back to work on his laptop.

"Okay, so... say there's a body lying on the ground," the Protagonist starts the conversation again after a while, not ready to give up yet. Neil looks up, slightly annoyed, but in a fond sort of way. "He's been shot and you're pretty  _ sure _ he's... dead, but you haven't  _ checked... _ you didn't take his pulse, or whatever..."

Neil sticks his bottom lip out in concentration, and considers. "I guess there is still a possibility that he's alive, so you could go back in time to 'make sure' he is alive, somehow. And if you can do it in a way that doesn't interfere too much with the surrounding events, then the world will push back less, and you keep outcome divergence to a minimum. All hypothetical, but an interesting theory nevertheless. Now, can I get back to work?"

"Thank you, Neil," the man strokes Neil's golden hair affectionately.

"You are most welcome," Neil pushes his head into the other man's hand, and then resumes typing.

***

"Now that our ‘honeymoon’ is over, I feel a bit jealous of my younger self," quips Neil half-jokingly.

They will be arriving at their destination soon, right back to the beginning of Neil's journey. They have discussed the plans for some of the operations they will be running, separately and together, once they get there. However, the Protagonist realises, they have not really talked about what will happen to the  _ two of them. _

"How would you feel about getting a place together?" the man suggests tentatively. "Just the two of us." Neil's face lights up so quickly that he can't help but smile too.

"Oh, I don't know if you can afford my taste," Neil answers. "I take nothing less than a roof above my head and a bed to sleep in. Preferably soft." He will obviously settle for much, much less.

"A soft bed large enough for the two of us. Sounds good to me."

The Protagonist looks forward to being there for both Neils, finding and training the younger one and coming home to this Neil, his lover. Together, the two of them will make the return journey forward, back to where they started. Cocooned in this pocket of time granted to them — until time catches up with them.

  
  
  
  


_ 0. _

(Once they get to their destination point in the past, they go through the turnstile on the deck of the boat, and re-invert themselves. Going forward again, they travel to England, where the fated meeting between the mastermind and the graduate will take place.)

The Protagonist is now metres away from Neil, a younger version of his travelling companion. He watches the student sit down at the table. This Neil seems so young — he suddenly feels an overwhelming sense of protectiveness for the young man, and guilt stabs sharply at the thought of having to draw him into the dangerous world of war and intrigue. He hesitates.

There is a gust of wind, and purple petals drift all around him, casting shadows in shades of violet. The sweet scent of the flowers overwhelms his senses. He flicks away the petals that land on his shoulders, and lets the breeze push him forward, where Neil awaits his destiny.

***

"I never realised you were in love with me  _ this _ early," the man points out one night after overseeing the training of Neil, while he sits relaxed on the couch next to  _ his Neil _ (as the man calls him in his mind, distinguishing him from the younger version).

"You assume much, Mr Modest," his Neil raises his eyebrows in mocked ignorance and surprise.

The man rolls his eyes. Neil concedes, and throws his head back on the headrest of the sofa in defeat, laughing, "was I really  _ that _ obvious?"

"Yes, you were. It's a weird feeling... I mean, I'll always be faithful to you, but you two are actually the  _ same person. _ "

"What if you succumb to his youthful charms? Would you leave me for a younger man?" jokes Neil, who knows by experience that nothing will happen between them, not yet.

"I think I have enough self control not to succumb to any advances. Besides, I would never violate my role as a mentor, even if I wasn't in a relationship with you."

Neil bursts out laughing, amused and endeared by his lover's earnestness. "I was only joking, sweetheart." An intense wave of affection suddenly washing over him, Neil takes his lover into his arms.

"I've  _ always _ been in love with you," whispers Neil into the man's raven hair. "But then I eventually found out you were with someone else, and it damn well broke my heart. What I didn't realise back then was that you were with  _ me  _ all along. That possibility didn't even enter my mind," Neil giggles and gives his lover a kiss, and the man reciprocates eagerly. "I kept thinking during our trip that maybe you were going to hook up with someone else once we got here." 

"Who do you think I am,  _ James Bond? _ " the man laughs, nipping at Neil's neck and making him shiver with arousal. He unbuttons his lover's shirt, and kisses and licks his way down the pale skin to where the trousers are straining to contain the hardness underneath. He unzips the fly, slowly, making his lover moan out with anticipation. 

Neil's cock is wet with precum, and he licks it off in circles, slow and maddening. "Oh God, I can't…  _ please... _ " Neil whimpers, begging.

The man takes the head into his mouth and slowly works his way down the length of the cock, the lips tight around the girth and the tongue stroking at the shaft, until the whole thing is inside his warm, wet mouth. Neil cannot stop himself from thrusting into the other man then, helpless against the intensity of the sensation, and the man lets him fuck his throat, until he groans hoarsely and cums hard in his lover's mouth, spurting a hot jet of semen with every spasm of the cock.

The man slides the spent cock out of his mouth, and swallows the bitter liquid. He then wipes at the saliva soaking his beard with his hand, grinning. “If only the _other_ _you_ knew what we’ve been up to.”

"My brain would have exploded," Neil laughs and then takes the other man’s hand, leads him into the bedroom, and pushes him down onto the bed. “Let me return the favour?” Neil whispers into his ear, stroking his erection through the fabric of the trousers. “Mmm,” the man agrees, and takes off his clothes obediently. 

Neil spreads his lover's legs open. Leaving the hard cock quivering in the air, he laps at the Protagonist's balls in small licks, and then takes the whole sac into his mouth. His right hand grips the erection now, jerking him off in time to the sucking, making the man babble incoherently and thread his long fingers into Neil’s soft blond hair. 

“Fuck, Neil, I’m close…” the man grunts. Neil releases the balls out of his mouth with a pop, and then swallows the cock right down to the hilt in one smooth motion, taking it deep into his throat. The man gasps in surprise, cumming hard and pumping his seeds down Neil’s throat, making him gag and start a coughing fit.

“I’m  _ so _ sorry, are you okay?” the man says, mortified. Neil raises his hand up to indicate that he is fine, and the coughing subsides into laughter. “I like it when I make you lose control," he says, a smug grin plastered all over his face.

  
  


  
  


_ 1. _

At this stage, the new recruit has not gone through the test yet — the one that the Protagonist himself had to go through to be proven "worthy" of being inducted into the inner circle that is Tenet. This means the usual red tapes are still in place for the young Neil; although, knowing what he is willing to put himself through in the future, the man questions the need for such a test in his case. 

_I hope nobody pulls his teeth out_ _at least,_ the man grimaces, as he watches Neil fumble with his handgun at shooting practice.

“Here, let me show you,” the man steadies Neil’s hands from behind him, correcting his stance. The sudden physical contact makes Neil's breath hitch. “Try now.” The bullet hits closer to the bullseye. “That’s it, much better,” the rumble of the man's voice sends a small shiver through Neil.

He cannot help but let a little bit of affection trickle out to the younger Neil. Warm smiles and pats on the back — whispers of things to come for his future lover.

He can only imagine what  _ his _ Neil had to go through, when they met "for the first time" in that yacht club in Mumbai. Having to hide away the warmth of affection within his heart, the heat of attraction coiling in his body, keeping it locked until the right time. The right time —  _ when this is over, if we’re still standing and you still care… _

_ I will always care, I will never give up on you. _

***

"After the day I had with the  _ other _ you, I must be mad to be coming home to you," the Protagonist sighs. He has now taken the younger Neil on a couple of field missions, both turning out to be rather  _ dramatic, _ to say the least. Neil being Neil, he has a tendency to come up with crazy, impulsive ideas that border on the frivolous (which more often than not end up making perfect sense once executed).

_ His _ Neil, knowing what has happened and will happen, does not ask any questions. He just smirks knowingly and says, "too much of a good thing, they say."

Neil reminisces over dinner that night, picking at a plate of something that remotely resembles pasta that he concocted for the two of them. "You know, back then I was always in awe of you. You were the  _ ubermensch, _ the Saviour. Our secret weapon. Most other guys didn’t even know who you were, or what you looked like. But me, you recruited me yourself, and that made me feel quite a bit special. I was just trying hard to prove myself to you. I wanted you to think that I was unique, invaluable."

“And you  _ are, _ ” the Protagonist interrupts his chewing to say, and he receives a smile in return.

"But after seeing you at the opera house in Kiev..." Neil continues, absent-mindedly poking at the food. Recalling the Protagonist caught in a whirlwind, blind to what is really going on around him.  _ Scared and clueless.  _ "... And then saving your life, something changed inside me. I realised you were vulnerable and…  _ human. _ Then I knew... that I wanted to protect you. I wanted to be  _ your _ saviour... if that doesn't sound too cocky."

"Mighty hero to a damsel in distress, huh." The man’s expression clouds over then; a vision of Neil on the battlefield replays in his mind, going off on his final mission to save the man he loves. “I wish I  _ was _ invincible. I wish you didn’t have to stick your neck out for me."

Neil regards the other man with a pensive smile. "Well, the part of the protagonist is already taken, and so is the antagonist. You've got to let me be your knight in shining armour, or what role would I play?" And, as if he understands the reason for the other man's mood, he adds, "I don't regret anything. Nor will I, ever."

"Well, maybe except for tonight's dinner." That makes the Protagonist burst out laughing, and Neil follows suit.

  
  


  
  


_ 2. _

The Protagonist decides it is time he went back further into the past, to initiate the process that shapes the organisation into what it becomes in the near future. This is perhaps the most secret of all the secret missions; he cannot risk letting anyone in on the plan. Details must belong to him, and him alone.  _ The policy is to suppress, after all. _

"You won't even miss me, you know." The man is sitting on a sofa in the living room of their apartment, while Neil paces the floor around him. "It'll be just like I never left, as far as you're concerned. I'll probably be back the day I left you, or even  _ before." _ He ponders the wonders of reverse entropy, which never ceases to amaze him after all these years.

"Yeah, but  _ you _ will miss me." Neil stops his pacing and looks at the other man. He pauses for a moment, deciding. "Take me with you. You know I can help you. Besides, it'll be fun." 

Neil crouches down in front of the man, hands on his knees, and stares him square in the eye. "What's the point of keeping secrets from me now? Aren't we past the  _ ignorance is our ammunition _ bullshit by now?"

The Protagonist sits there in silence, his thoughts going back to what Neil said back in the future.  _ …And we get up to some stuff. You’re going to love it, you'll see… _

Neil carefully watches the other man’s face shift as he contemplates. "I'll try not to get in the way too much," he adds, the lighter tone barely masking the layer of fierce conviction underneath —  _ don't go alone, you need me, you know you do. _ When Neil gets that look in his eyes, he is unstoppable. 

The Protagonist lets out a deep breath. "Okay, you win. You're coming with me."

A beautiful smile covers Neil's face then, and he launches himself at the other man, sending both of them sprawling onto the sofa. They lie there, chest to chest, laughing like idiots. 

Even the weight of the world becomes lighter, when it's shared between two people.

  
  


  
  


_ 3. _

"You actually  _ enjoy _ this, don't you?" the Protagonist shouts, exasperated. He is hanging off the side of a 30-storey building, more than a little shaken, next to his partner who is in the exact same condition — well,  _ physically _ at least.

"What, risking my life to save the world? Nah, not me," Neil shouts back, making a point of swinging on the rope, clearly enjoying himself.

They are on a mission to make contact with, and convince a certain person of importance into helping them. It requires a less conventional introduction than even what  _ they _ are used to. 

_ I know now where he got the bungee jumping idea from, _ the Protagonist thinks, cursing himself, on the edge of vertigo from the dizzying heights.

Once arriving in the past, they indeed get up to some wild stuff, although whether he loves it or not largely depends on how high the building is that he is hanging from.

***

The adrenaline-inducing antics aside, it is painstaking work, and more often than not involves unpleasant and less-than-legal means. Tonight has been such a night —  _ they say never to make a threat you cannot carry out _ — and afterwards, the Protagonist slumps into a chair, drained of all energy.

_ I care too much, that's always been my weakness, _ he thinks to himself weakly, staring at the blood spatter on his clothes. At times like this, the stoic nature of the man skirts dangerously close to the realm of self-punishment.  _ Every death counts, and every one leaves a scar. _

“Hey,” Neil puts his hand on the other man’s shoulder, concern creasing his face. “We did good tonight.”

_ "Good?  _ Do you really think the man I put a bullet through agrees with you?”

Neil, ever so patient, tries. " Look… you know what kind of man he was. You can't be too hard on yourself, we did what we had to do. You take so much on yourself... maybe you should try and enjoy things a bit more."

The Protagonist barks out a laugh. "I don't  _ enjoy _ the death-defying acrobatics we have to pull, Neil. I don't  _ enjoy _ hurting or killing people. I don't  _ enjoy _ putting your life at risk."

"That is  _ not _ what I meant," says Neil, visibly upset. "But while we're at it, what  _ do _ you enjoy?"

"I enjoy getting the job done. And the job's  _ not done yet, _ we could all disappear into nothing," the man hisses, "and clearly that doesn't detract from your  _ sense of fun." _

"That... is not fair," the hurt spreads on Neil's face like ink. "I'm ready to die for the cause, for you, and I know I probably will. I just want to live while I can — while you're here with me. And if that's wrong..." Neil spits out, shaking his head, "then obviously I'm the wrong man for the job."

The words hit hard; the man physically recoils. "I'm... sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Oh,  _ screw it," _ Neil growls. He turns and walks off, slamming the study door behind him.

The Protagonist slumps down to the floor, leaning on the door. "Neil, I'm sorry. I... shouldn't have said what I said," he pleads. "I didn’t mean to hurt you." Silence fills the other side of the door. 

"We do the dirty work, so that everyone else can live. I know that. But all the deaths I've caused in my life… there’s always been a good reason, but no excuse can make it alright. And there is something in my past,  _ your future _ ..." He chokes up then, but continues. " _ I sent you off to die,  _ Neil. I can't... not when I know..." Part of him wants Neil to turn his back on him and their mission, and walk away. 

Neil, of course, does not. "Oh, for God's sake," he shouts through the door before opening it. "To hell with the future me, or past you, or anyone else." Neil sits down beside the man, and sees the tears pooling in his eyes. Neil continues in a  _ sotto _ voice. “Don't punish yourself for what's going to happen to me, or anyone else." Neil, cradling the other man’s face between his hands, whispers. "Just be with me,  _ here, now." _

"Do you want to know when, and how?" _He deserves to know,_ _ignorance be damned._

Neil considers for a brief second, and shakes his head. "No, I'd rather not. If I did, I might act differently, and affect the outcome. As long as the war's won, and you're safe, I'm good." He smiles and takes the man into his arms.

"You will be okay, I’m going to fix it. I promise," the man whispers, a prayer going out to the cold and indifferent universe.

They sit still for a long time, silently sharing the hurt, the guilt, the pain, the love.

***

Something changes after the confession; something within the Protagonist shifts. He does not want any more secrets to keep, wants there to be nothing left to hide. Like a flower unfolding its petals, he welcomes Neil into the most raw, guarded part of himself.

He realises then that this is what Neil has always done; Neil has always trusted him with his innermost feelings, allowed himself to be read like an open book. For the first time, he can see it for the incredible gift it is.

Just like Neil predicted, having him there helps in a considerable way — both professionally and personally. Neil comes up with brash plans for their ops, which the Protagonist does not necessarily always like, but for the lack of alternatives, goes along with anyway. They stay by each other's side through difficult times. In a few years, Priya is working for the Protagonist, as well as Fay and other CIA agents. Spies, soldiers and scientists all over the world are strategically placed in their positions. 

They remember to stop and smell the roses. On one occasion, the two of them go undercover to a ravish, exclusive gala, dressed to kill in stylish tuxedos. In their hotel room before the party, they take inventory of the gadgets to smuggle into the venue. Then they help each other change into their evening attire, ending up looking spectacularly classy.

_ "Wow," _ Neil stares, mouth wide open, at his partner in his slim-fitting tux that shows off his solid build. "Damn, you look...  _ edible." _

The Protagonist crooks his mouth into a smile and glances at him out the corner of his eye. "You're looking very dapper yourself," says the man, sizing Neil up and down, clearly impressed.

The tuxedo making him look taller and more slender, Neil stretches out his long arm to caress the man's cheek. "We've got time to... have a bit of  _ fun _ before we have to leave," he says, his voice honey-sweet and seductive.

"And ruin our ten-thousand-dollar bespoke suits? You gotta be joking." The man tries to sound shocked, but his voice comes out hoarse and dripping with anticipation.

"Well... I'm very good at slipping into places that are off-limits...," Neil whispers into the other man's ear, and slips a wet tongue in there for emphasis, making the man grunt with desire.

"Mmm... you are  _ impossible..." _

"You like it when I'm naughty," Neil breathes hot into his ear, and continues his administrations. The man melts like butter, and caves in.

Neil unzips the man's fly in one quick action, and takes out the hefty length, already hard. Then, going down on his knees, he devours it whole like a hungry beast, and starts sucking enthusiastically. 

The man tries to say  _ mind the trousers, _ but what comes out is an incoherent groan.

Neil expertly brings him to climax without ruining the tux; a feat all the more impressive considering he also manages to jerk himself off at the same time. "See? 'm good at this," says Neil afterwards, licking his lips.

"More to do with luck than anything else," the Protagonist sighs, eyeing the streaks of Neil's cum on the floor narrowly missing him. "Thank God for small miracles."

  
  
  
  


_ 4. _

The Protagonist catches a flight to Zurich on his own.

There is a facility there, heavily guarded by armed security. They offer safe deposit boxes to their exclusive clientele in the state-of-the-art, explosive-proof vaults. The Protagonist establishes a new account using one of his fake ID's. After going through a set of biometric scanners, a security officer accompanies him into the vault. Once inside the vault, he is given privacy to store his possessions into the small metal box indicated to him, which can be unlocked only by the single master key given to the man.

In truth, he has brought nothing to store in the box. He is, however, hoping that there is something there waiting for him. 

And when he opens the box, which should be empty — there is a plastic case inside. On it is a note that reads,  _ From Posterity, _ in his own handwriting.

The man smiles, puts away the case in his suitcase with the utmost care, locks the empty box and then finally indicates to the security officer that his business is now complete.

***

The Protagonist hopes he has not overlooked anything; a small detail could potentially compromise his organisation and their mission. There are only a few loose ends left to tidy up. He traces his steps carefully — nothing in the records to give himself away to their adversary. Neil the recruit has passed his muster and has been inducted into the secrets of the organisation. Everything in its right place, at the right time. All the dots connect; the only thing to do now is to let the events unfold.

***

"Hey," the Protagonist calls out to Neil, the one that is not yet his lover. He is crouching next to a heap of machine parts and is currently attacking it with a spanner.

Neil swings back with the speed of lightening, and says, breathless, "it's  _ you. _ Hi."

The Protagonist has not seen that awestruck expression on Neil for a long time. He smiles inwardly.

"Been on a trip, have you?" says Neil. The Protagonist does looks a little older, and while he doubts many others would even notice, it doesn't escape Neil's sharp eyes.

"I guess you could say that. Here, let me help you," the man crouches next to Neil and inspects the bolt in Neil's hand. "I think the thread's stripped. Try this," he digs around in the toolbox, takes out a plumber's tape and winds a length of it around the bolt, before securing it back on with a nut and a washer. "A temporary fix. Come back and fix it properly later."

"Thanks." Neil stares at him for a few seconds, before realising he is probably being a bit rude, and looks back down at the machine parts. He starts fidgeting with them distractedly.

"Neil...." the Protagonist opens his mouth to say something, but after the longest of pauses, he decides against it. "Nothing, don't worry about it." He then realises he is still holding something in his hand — a spare washer. "Here," he takes Neil's hand and carefully places it there, as if it were something of value. "Something to remember me by."

Neil stares at the small coin-like object in his hand, brass gold and doughnut-shaped, looking a bit puzzled. When he looks up to ask for an explanation, the man has already stood up and started to walk off.

"...Hey wait!" Neil shouts, although he cannot come up with a good reason to make him stay. "Is there... anything I should be doing?"

"Practice lock-picking. Oh, and learn to speak Estonian. See you in the near future," he waves to Neil, and is gone.

***

The colourful night lights gleam cold through the glass panels of the hotel suite in Mumbai. The two lovers have been spending a couple of years off duty, travelling the world incognito, discovering and exploring new terrains; together they have gone sailing, deep sea diving and bungee-jumping (Neil was mystified as to why the man chose this particular activity, knowing his aversion to heights). And tonight, they are at their final destination; this is where their paths diverge. The moment they have always known was coming.

Neil looks at his lover. “What do I say to you when I see you? The  _ other _ you?”

“Nothing. Just tell me your name. Be by my side.” The Protagonist recalls his first meeting with Neil, at the yacht club right here in this city. In a few weeks, that moment will come to pass for his earlier self, and for his Neil.

They make love, wordlessly, wishing that the silence will stretch the night into eternity. The heat radiating from their bodies tell each other things that they cannot quite verbalise.

In the faint light of an early morning, the Protagonist leaves Neil softly snoring on crumpled sheets. He turns at the door to take one last look at his lover, and then is gone.

The man has one more thing left to do; he goes off to seek out Ives at his station, a package in hand.

  
  


  
  


_ 5. _

The Protagonist is sitting in a chair next to a stretcher, talking to an unconscious figure. The person on the makeshift bed is hooked up to all sorts of devices, but the regular blip-blip sound coming from the ECG tells the man that they are in a stable condition.

Outside, he can see the cold dark ocean, rough waves drawing foamy lines across the sea. He can feel the icebreaker rock with the rhythm. 

The man follows his train of thought and keeps talking to the unconscious figure about unimportant things, just so they know — if by any chance they can hear him — that they are not alone. When he gets tired, he shuts his eyes and nods off in his chair.

When the unconscious figure stirs and opens their eyes, they see the Protagonist in the chair, arms crossed, eyes closed. "Hey," says the now-conscious man, voice dry and raspy. 

The Protagonist startles awake in an instant. " _ Neil. _ "

***

_ The Protagonist drops into the hypocentre using a rope hanging from a helicopter. He has just seen Volkov get sucked "back up” into his chopper, in reverse motion, flying away. The cavern is deserted, except for the body lying on the ground by the locked gate. He carries the fallen man gently in his arms, straps him to the harness he is wearing, and they are extracted from the ridge. The cacophony of suppressive fire can be heard even over the deafening whirring of the chopper. _

_ The chopper moves “backwards” past the Blue Team extraction point, past the mountainous ruins of Stalsk 12, towards the sea. It "lands" on the icebreaker where their team was busy preparing for the assault only hours ago.  _

_ The Protagonist carries Neil off the chopper, lays him on a waiting stretcher, then takes him through the turnstile.  _

_ To the pilot of the helicopter, who is not inverted, it would have looked like he “picked up” the two men off the boat, flying them to Stalsk 12, and “dropped” them off into the hypocentre, only to pull the Protagonist back up again a moment later and fly back to the icebreaker.  _

"But  _ how _ ...", says Neil, completely bewildered and disorientated. The Protagonist strokes his cheek, and places a chaste kiss on his lips. The man’s tears leave a patch of wetness on Neil's cheek. "You saved me. How did you manage?"

"Sator equipped himself with future tech and future money... I thought to myself, well, it's a bit of an unfair advantage, why not do the same for myself?” the man chuckles, tears still trailing down his cheeks. "I have a safe deposit box that only I have knowledge of and have access to. In the future, I’ll place some inverted objects in it to enable myself to save your life. A hell of a hail-Mary pass to myself, but it worked."

"What was in the box?"

"Cutting-edge military and medical nanotech from 30 years in the future. Something I started investing in, actually, when we went back into the past together. I recruited a whole team of researchers, the crème de la crème, and gave them enough funds to continue their research for a few decades. Apparently, they'll succeed down the track."

"You did all that... just to save  _ me? _ " Neil looks genuinely astonished.

"Neil, I would move the Earth just to save you."

***

Ives comes to visit Neil after a couple of days. "You know that shot I gave you that I said was a tetanus booster, just before the pincer operation? Well, it wasn't, exactly," he laughs. “Apparently, that thing was filled with nanobots called clottocytes and respirocytes. Helped to stop the bleeding. Hell, you could’ve gone without breathing for a few hours with those things swimming in your bloodstream.”

"And you switched my gear too," accuses Neil.

"Ah, future-grade bullet proof armour. When he told me all this," continues Ives, thumb pointing to the Protagonist, "I thought he'd gone bonkers."

"It was a close call still," says the Protagonist.

"Yeah, it was. Real cowboy shit. Oh well, we managed," Ives shrugs, trying not to look too pleased. "You owe me one, Neil."

Neil, for once, is speechless. "Thanks," he finally squeezes out, "thanks for everything."

"Now that I've saved your life, don't force me to kill you," says Ives, as casual as anything. "Do me a favour. Once you're back on your feet, take your share of the Algorithm and get as far away as you can. I don't wanna see the two of you ever again."

"We'll miss you too, Ives", says Neil, grinning.

***

Perhaps the future was always going to turn out this way. Or maybe, through his perseverance, the Protagonist has bent the parallel lines of multiple realities, crisscrossing and weaving them into a picture of his own imagining. Maybe it is both.

He tries not to understand it, but he can certainly feel it — the joy, the relief, the satisfaction, the love, all of it. Together, the two of them can now look forward, not backward, to the future.

  
  


The End


End file.
